Do you always feel troubled from overthinking, struggling to make a move thinking of all the possible scenarios that could go wrong? You are stuck in your own mind and feeling all negative about yourself? You are not alone!
Growing up, I heard all types of labels being put on me- “perfectionist”, “oversensitive”, and “over-thinker”. There was a very long period of time I felt different from others or felt less.
I understand the struggles and know they are caused by the pressure I put upon myself. In the journey to understand myself better, I came across the term “Highly Sensitive Person” or HSP.
By definition, HSPs are those who are thought to have an increased or deeper central nervous system sensitivity to physical, emotional, or social stimuli.
Simply put, we are more likely to be affected by our surroundings. Life as an HSP has both advantages and challenges. To me, the positives of being a highly sensitive person outweigh the challenges.
However, there are days that are challenging as things get on our nerves too much. Today, I will share 3 tips I use in daily life to keep my calm as a highly sensitive person.
1. Have Positive Self-talk
Whenever I am feeling overwhelmed by my thoughts and emotions, my go-to solution is always taking deep breaths and repeating my mantra in my mind.
You can take a deep breath by inhaling through the nose, while stating the mantra in your mind, then exhale through your mouth.
You can pat yourself gently or place your hand over your heart while reciting the mantra. The mantra that keeps me calm includes “It’s okay, you’re doing great!”, “I have control over how I feel and I choose to feel at peace.”
These inner self-talkings always bring me calm in my heart.
The mantra I used consists of 1. Self-affirmation, 2. Putting a space between myself and my thoughts.
Regardless of which mantra you use, give yourself one that can provide positive affirmation and some breathing space for you.
And repeat it at least 7 times out loud or in your mind.
2. Understand that Others Do Not View Things the Same Way as We Are
I am pretty sure that sometimes when you are over worrying, you have heard your friends saying “Don’t worry, he/she will not think in that way”.
It doesn’t seem to bring much comfort to us as it’s really difficult to view things outside our perspective when we are so immersed in our own thoughts.
when I truly understood that others do not think the same way as I do and that everyone’s mind are programmed differently. It was such a powerful realization!
People who are less sensitive view the world completely opposite as we do!
They do not focus on one small thing and overly scrutinize it, instead, they have a broader perspective. And will not take these ‘little failures’ that are deemed by us to heart.
The next time you find yourself worrying about whether you’re not doing well or whether the other person dislikes you. PAUSE.
Remind yourself: They are not thinking in the same way as I do! Even if you have really made a mistake, people will not hate you or dislike you for it. People might give criticism, but they criticize the thing you did, NOT you as a person.
Taking my own example, there were many years that I was bothered by a small mistake I made when I was in middle school. It was the school drama night and I was the lead actress in the play. Everything went on really well until I forgot my lines at the end. I still recall it even years later and STILL feel deeply embarrassed.
I had my class reunion a year back, and I mentioned it to some of my peers, and guess what? None of them remember the little incident. They only remember the performance was awesome!
Phew! I told myself, you are in your head again.
3. Focus on the Positives, Both on Yourself and on Others
Get rid of all the self-denial and learn to praise yourself. Yes, praise yourself as you deserve it! You need to know that YOU are your most reliable partner of all time.
No matter what mistakes you make, be sure to keep telling yourself “I have the greatest ability and the greatest possibility” – Yes, I made a mistake, so what? Does it mean I have no value?
We often care too much about what others think of us or think negatively about people’s opinions of us. A little tip I learned is to change the focus – instead of focusing on what this person thinks of me, shift your attention to what I like about this person.
If we learn to see only the positives in people, we will feel much at ease in relationships or interacting with others! Just think about how you feel when you are with your best friend or someone you like. You feel at ease and comfortable! And time together is simply joyful.
Instead of troubling over how to interact with this person, how to get his/her approval, or worrying about his/her opinion of you, turn your attention to finding 3 to 5 positive traits of him/her, and observe the magical changes!
Everyone has their golden traits!
Another tip I learned is to find a role model around you. When you are feeling afraid or stuck in your mind, think about what this person will do. This will also give you the courage and motivation to make changes.
Lastly, be kind and patient with yourself. Try to adopt the 3 tips in your daily life from today and observe the changes in your mindset.
Remember to document the changes in your mindfulness journal!
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